The 13 Year Cicadas AKA My Nightmare

You guys. Something seriously uncool is happening down here in Tennessee. Well, two things really – have you heard about that ridiculous Don’t Say Gay bill that is making its way towards becoming an actual law? But that’s not what this post is about. No. This post is about the “13-year cicadas”.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am pretty danged afraid of bugs. That is a FACT. I loath all bugs. Some I can tolerate better than others, but really, I hate them all. Pretty high on my hate list? The cicada.

Pictured: The curent face of evil.

This weekend I was up in Iowa for a wedding and we got back super early this morning. Before we left, the cicadas weren’t thaaaaat bad. I mean, yes, I could hear them and I saw all their disgusting dead bodies squashed all over the sidewalk, but it wasn’t super terrible or anything. Then, this morning when we turned off our car, we found out what the swarm sounded like. But it got worse. I walked home this afternoon and I think my eardrums almost burst. I’m not kidding! It was so freaking loud! And I also had to run because I started having a panic attack. Why? Because there were cicadas EVERYWHERE. They were buzzing around on the ground, they were flying around in the air, they were on all of the walls. I’ll give you some perspective. First. Here is a video from someone who lives in Green Hills, the neighborhood down the street from me (it’s where the super nice mall is and also the closest library to me).

That was posted on May 11, about 3 days after the cicadas first emerged. It’s so much worse now. In addition to all those jerks sitting on the ground, there are just as many flying around in the air and sitting on crap all around. Again, I will say it: THEY ARE EVERYWHERE!

Want to hear what they sound like? Here’s this: WARNING: you may want to turn down your volume, I’m not lying – it hurts your ears!

I took my own video with PhotoBooth but then it wouldn’t show it due to errors so I went and found this lady’s video. I’m not sure where she lives, but that is honestly what it sounds like on my walk home. Seriously, these things need to just go the heck away. I can’t wait until they’re all dead and I don’t have to run to and from work. I know that they won’t hurt me, but does anybody really enjoy having a huge ass bug flying into their hair? And they’re just so loud! I noticed that around the streets they’re louder. Anytime a car or truck would zoom by the cicadas would get louder, as if they were competing with the other noise. It seriously hurt my ears.

Well, wish me luck on surviving this nightmare down here. I honestly cannot figure out how I’m going to function normally down here until they’re gone.

Hearts!

Lindsay

Stream of Consciousness Genius or Reason I Need to Move

This guy was actually running for governor.  Or at least he was running to be the Republican candidate for the coming election.  I am dead serious here.  Some of you may recognize him from Jimmy Kimmel or The Colbert Report.  Keep in mind that I got to watch him first on my local news station (Channel 4!).

At first I laughed and then I was a bit horrified at the fact that he actually got 3,505 votes.  Yes, more than 3 people (himself, his wife and his son) voted for him.  3,502 in fact.  Seriously Tennessee?  Was it all those hipster voters who thought it would be funny to vote for him?  Was it people who seriously wanted to see other people get fined when they were found to NOT be carrying a gun?  Or possibly a bunch of criminals voted for him so that they’d be granted immunity for their crimes (because that could SO happen).

But then I realized that this man is the next Kafka (no not Mike – I highly doubt Basil could get into Northwestern OR the NFL).  Franz Kafka.  Yes, I believe Basil Marceaux is giving us a brilliant example of stream of consciousness.  I don’t think anyone could say that this man is going off a script.  I think Basil’s next step should be to write a book.  No editing, just his awesome stream of consciousness that made him an internet sensation.  I seriously think that that book would sell.  Hell, I’d buy it (or at least sit in the aisle at Borders and read it).

<3, lindsay

Lindsay Eats Some Wax

Guys, I ate wax today.

I wanted cheese really bad today after I woke up from my post church nap.  So I walked myself over to the grocery store (my new apartment is about a block and a half away from Harris Teeter – it’s pretty awesome) and bought some cheese.  You know those round individually wrapped cheeses?  Guess what.  There are TWO layers before the cheese.

Pictured: Innocent cheese or EVIL?

 

So now you know.  And if you ever go buy this kind of cheese and accidentally eat the wax, I cannot be blamed.  

This whole experience reminded me of candy that I used to eat as a child.  Does anybody remember those wax bottles filled with delicious colored juice/water stuff?

You totally know you're going to have to bite the wax, so you're prepared.

 

That’s kind of like what today was for me.  Except instead of finding deliciousness, I found cheese that kind of mixed with the wax and made everything stick to my teeth.  

Speaking of wax and teeth, that also reminds me of my childhood.  My cousin had braces as we were growing up, so I desperately wanted braces too.  So after we would get all the juice out of the wax bottles, I would save my bottles and then chew them up for a long time and then stick it all over my teeth.  I also remember taking paperclips and unwinding them and then sticking it in my mouth like I had a retainer.  Now that I think about it, this is probably one of the reasons my teeth suck so much now.  I really tried my hardest as a child to destroy them.  I even managed to get a nice chip in my two upper front teeth by faceplanting on a metal slide (my cousins and I had created a waterslide by sticking a hose at the top of their swingset slide and placing the wading pool underneath.  All of my cousins kept going up the slide and so of course I had to prove that I was cool enough too.  And of course I slipped – that will happen with wet metal.  I still have the chip, although it’s not as bad as I originally made it because the dentist tried to fill it in as best he could).  

So that’s all I really have for today.  Hopefully I’ll start having better posts – maybe when I get the internet at my apartment and I can start posting from there.  Although I have to say it’s not that bad since I can just walk two blocks down to Fido.  

To help you all visualize kind of where I live, I provide for you a music video by Kellie Pickler (and featuring Taylor Swift!).

So this video was shot partly on 21st Avenue (I live on 21st!).  If you watch the video, you will see shots as 1:21, 2:14, 2:24, and then 2:40.  I’m not sure about 1:21 though.  I think that’s the front of a wedding dress shop they’re walking in front of because of the yellow.  And I’m sitting across from Pangaea as I type this.  So think about 2 blocks in the other way.  Oh yeah, and that church is totally not across the street from Pangaea.  I’ll take my own pictures later.  

<3, lindsay

Just because.

OMG, I live like 5 minutes away from a shopping MECCA!

Growing up in the Quad Cities, I remember when it was a treat to get to drive an hour to go to Coral Ridge because they had an Old Navy and an Abercrombie & Fitch (not that I was allowed to buy anything there ever because of the half naked pictures of the models on the walls).  It was an even bigger treat when we got to drive 3 hours to Chicago, where EVERYTHING was!  Now, that I live in Nashville, apparently this is also one of those big cities, where all the big shops are!  

Yesterday, Andrew and I went shopping.  I wanted to find a khaki skirt and we had a gift certificate to Dillards, so put 2 and 2 together and you get a shopping trip.  Yay!  So we went to The Mall at Green Hills since it’s like 2 miles away from our apartment.  And let me tell you.  First off, we went in at Macy’s.  Macy’s I tell you!  I think there is now a Macy’s in Iowa.  I believe Jordan Creek has one in Des Moines, but I’ve never been to that mall, so I wouldn’t know for sure…unless I googled it, which I refuse to do (for some reason, I don’t like to confirm certain things on this website…usually I turn out to be right, so whatever).  So we walked in at Macy’s and went out to go find Dillards.  While walking to Dillards, which was apparently at the other end of the mall, we saw many other stores that I would usually have to go to Chicago for.  Like J. Crew.  We have a J. Crew!  I freaking love that store!  (Not that I have anything from it, because it’s a little pricey for my budget, but still!)  We have a Brooks Brothers (a big one!), which I also love.  We have an Ann Taylor Loft, AND an Ann Taylor.  There was also a MAC store (as in the computers)…there was another store that said M.A.C., so I guess they have 2 mac stores, but the other one looked like only had like…bags or something in it, so we didn’t go in.  OMG, they also had a SEPHORA.  A Sephora!  I think the first time I ever heard about that store was when Lorelai and Rory from Gilmore Girls were talking about looting one and I was all like, huh?  But then I figured out it was a make-up mecca.  We have some more stores, but I’ve pretty much mentioned the ones I was impressed by that we actually went into.  Well, we didn’t go into Sephora because I don’t need any new make-up right now, and if we had gone in, I think I might have gone crazy.  And I think there’s an entire branch of the mall we didn’t even touch because I got hungry (like the kind of hungry where I was getting cranky, which must be appeased ASAP!) and so we left.  Then we made tacos.

But I didn’t even get a skirt, because all the khaki skirts I saw were either super ugly, or too short, or too pencily.  Good grief, how hard is it to find a freaking skirt?  I know, hard.

Love y’all!

<3, lindsayF

P.S. A cool front is supposed to come through tonight, and it’s only going to be in the low 80s starting tomorrow.  Oh, that is so cold.  Not.

Indiana Jones…seriously??!!

Howdy dear readers!

2nd post from Nashville!  Last night HWSNBNITB and I decided to do a date night.  So we went on over to Applebee’s and had some salads (kinda wilted lettuce, but otherwise not too bad), and then we went to the movies!  OMG, y’all would totally love the movie theater we went to.  It looked all old fashionedy with its fluorescent lights and everything.  I think the picture below is actually one of the theater we went to.
Anyhow, we saw the new Indiana Jones movie, which I have to say was pretty good up until like the last 10 minutes of the movie.  Seriously Mr. Lucas?  I mean, you guys couldn’t come up with a better ending than the one we saw?  I won’t spill any specific details, but OMG, when we saw the ending, HWSNBNITB and I just looked at each other and started laughing.  And we didn’t stop laughing until this morning.  In fact, we still sometimes just look at each other and start laughing again, it was so ridiculous.  What did you guys think?

Mmmm, so awesome!

Love y’all,

lindsayF

P.S.  You should all read Meg Cabot’s book, Airhead – totally adorable!

Good evening from Iowa City and Happy Easter!

What can I say? It’s good to be back in Iowa. I left last Friday for Nashville, which was fun because I got to hang out with my future hubby and his friends, tour a brewery (and taste some not so icky beer), read a lot and hang out on the Vandy campus a bit. Then from Nashville I headed over to Las Vegas to meet up with my parents and sisters. That was pretty fun too – got to see Cirque Du Soleil (did I spell that right?), in particular I got to see Love (the Beatles show). While I thoroughly enjoyed Love, I think that I would have gotten more out of it if I knew more of their history. I’ll have to go to Amber for this. I also got to see Spamalot (lovingly ripped off from The Quest for the Holy Grail) which was funny. I also got to lay by the pool and get burned in all the weird places that I somehow missed when I put on my sunscreen (3 times in 2 hours). Oh, and if any of you watch the travel channel, you might be able to glimpse me and my family on June 12th – we were at the restaurant that Samantha Brown (I don’t know exactly what she does for the channel (http://www.travelchannel.com/TV_Shows/Samantha_Brown), but she hosts some show…my parents watch her pretty religiously) was at – don’t believe me? We totally got a picture despite the fact that my mom and my youngest sister were totally freaking out (they were shaking, it was HILARIOUS!). Despite the nicer weather down south and out west, I’m just glad to be back in Iowa, even if it is like 30 degrees outside. I was going to write an entry from Las Vegas, but The Mirage (hotel we were in) was going to charge the room $30. What!? Yeah, I know right!? I would have just taken my laptop down to some cafe or something that had free internet service, but my battery only lasts for like 2 minutes (that’s with it fully charged…yeah, I need a new battery). So all of my witty thoughts have left me – I totally should have written the blog entry in a word document and then pasted it in when I got back. But whatever.

Ooooh, I totally got Enchanted, and I have already watched it – sooooo cute! I totally want to be Amy Adams – I adore her big eyes and ability to be sincere in everything she does. I have also read Eclipse, by Stephenie Meyer, author of Twilight and New Moon, of which I have already talked about. I think it may kill me to wait for the 4th book to come out (August 2nd, eek!). The good thing about this – I will have to get it in Nashville, and I’m pretty sure the sales tax is less there…I could look this up, but why would I strain myself?

I’ll leave you with the following clips.

….is that Niles Crane from Frasier????  It sure looks like him.  Oh, and I must mention that King Arthur in the show I saw last night was none other than Mr. John O’Hurley…why does this name sound familiar?  Maybe because he’s just so awesome, or maybe because he was totally J. Peterman from Seinfeld. …probably the latter.

<3, lindsayd.

P.S.  I totally came and edited this a few minutes after posting and added some links because I got curious.

Howdy from Nashville, y’all!

Howdy folks,

This is lindsayd. tuning in from the country music capital of the world, Nashville, TN.  It’s strange to thing that in ~2 months I’ll be living here!  Crazy huh?  I’m just bumming out here on Andrew’s (or as I will start referring to him from here on out, HWSNBNITB) couch while he’s at class.  I just finished New Moon by Stephenie Meyer.  Why did I not pick this series up earlier????????????  Good gravy, I have been using just about every ounce of will power I can muster not to sit like a zombie (hehehehe) reading!  I read the first book in the saga, Twilight almost completely on my way down to TN, and then I bought New Moon the next day, but had to interrupt my reading for silly things like eating and sleeping, and then some not so silly things like spending quality time with HWSNBNITB and adding things to our registry at Bed Bath and Beyond.  Speaking of shopping – there are so many malls down here!  I’ll never be able to complain about a scanty selection while I live here.  But back to Twilight.  So then I of course had to look at the cast list for the movie they’re shooting right now.  Robert Patterson (mmmm Cedric Diggory!) is playing Edward.  Soooooo dreamy!  I’m a little bit scared though that the movie isn’t going to live up to my expectations.  But, I think it’ll be ok because by the time the movie comes out, I’ll have forgotten all the little details, so as long as they get the outline right, I think I’ll be ok.  But seriously, have you read these books???  I need to go buy Eclipse today – there’s a Border’s less than a mile from HWSNBNITB’s apartment.  I think I might take a walk there and then go on to the Vandy campus to find HWSNBTITB.  I am so glad that I have finally gotten into this series – I also need to read the 3rd book in the Libba Bray series, A Great and Terrible Beauty – also very good books.  I have to admit thought – Twilight has sucked (hahahahhahahahahahahahaha) me in to the story way more than A Great and Terrible Beauty.  Oooooh Edward and Bella.  I seriously want to name my first daughter Bella right now – I probably would if like 50,000 other girls weren’t thinking the same exact thing right now.  I’ll stick with Eloise.  Speaking of children – I got to have a web chat with my future niece, Emma and future brother in law, Tony.  Emma was adorable!  She’s 2 and a half and kept putting her hand over Tony’s mouth so that she would be the only one who got to talk.  And they’re about to get a new addition to the family – so exciting!  I can’t believe it – the baby was supposed to be born in late April, but they keep moving the due date up – they’re fully expecting a baby to be born within a few days most likely.  I can’t wait!  HWSNBNITB and I are going to get some pretty cute baby stuff as soon as we know if the baby’s a boy or girl.

That’s all from Nashville – y’all come back y’hear?  Read Twilight if you haven’t!  (And then thank Jen because she’s the one who’s been touting it from the start)

Toodles!

lindsayd.