Not even Britney would have worn that dress

It has almost been a week, and I think I’m just now getting to the point where the pain has lessened enough that I can talk about it. Did you watch the 2009 Miss America Pageant? If you didn’t, no worries–I twittered the whole thing. Also, no worries because IT SUCKED. well, actually it was amazingly awesome until they announced the winner. It was Miss Indiana:

Miss Indiana being crowned Miss America 2009.

that dress. THAT DRESS. I almost cried I was so upset that that dress is the current symbol of America.

So I feel really catty—who cares what she was wearing, right?—because I do like Miss Indiana. In fact, she almost made my list of I’m-rooting-for-you-despite-you-not-being-Miss-Iowa that I developed after watching TLC’s Countdown to the Crown. My favorites going in on Saturday were Miss Oklahoma and Miss South Dakota—Miss Oklahoma because she was such a real girl—a Princess Mia type—but I didn’t think she would win. And I was right, she didn’t even make top 15.

Miss Oklahoma!

Now I thought Miss South Dakota would make runner-up at least (I was pretty positive Miss Georgia would win)—but she was out after swimsuit. Which was an outrage btw considering she totally rocked her tallness. And I was always rooting for Miss Iowa, of course, but then she completely won me over as the competition went on!—She had the second best dress, the best talent (TAP DANCING!), and a pretty solid interview question.

Miss Iowa giving some Tap lessons.

The only thing that was questionable about Miss Iowa was that she seemed to have her bikini a bit toooo high-cut to be flattering (I tried forever to find a pic of this, but I couldn’t! weird, I figured Miss America pics would be all over the interweb by now), but all the girls did. The designated swimsuits were ick! Couldn’t we get some glam pinup girl style in the ring? —but early 90’s style seemed to be what the judges wanted because how else could have Miss Indiana had won with that dress on? Seriously, I am all for lace. but that was white, off the shoulder, long-sleeves, asymmetrical mini, see-through full-length, long slit, crazy lace. Not even Britney would wear that outfit. She knows how to break them up:

See-through Lace. Asymmetrical mini. and white. This is how you make them look hot.

Sigh, I’m just mad because Miss Iowa was so close! And this is the second year I feel the Miss America judges have not been watching the same show as me (and I suppose they weren’t–I didn’t see preliminaries…) Remember last year??!! That was just not right. I’m still holding a candle for you, Miss Wisconsin!

Miss Indiana seems very smart, independent and fabulous–She’ll make an awesome Miss America. And if she likes the dress, then “wear it like its hot, girl.”

Best part of pageant? Clinton Kelly telling a bunch of Little Misses “I hope puberty is kind to you.”

ngtamber

Update: I’m a spaz

So I just sat on the couch for like three seconds and then had to run back to post this because I felt so guilty about blowing off the new Miss America.  Despite my rant below: I’m sure Miss Michigan is a fabulous and lovely girl and will be a wonderful Miss America!  But I do hope that she never ever wears that dress again.  Unless she is figure skating.

still rowr though-

amberj.

O-town has more talent than the Miss America Pageant

Sigh, it has been several hours, but my mood is still low after watching the supposedly “new and modern” Miss America Pageant on TLC. Complete bah humbug.

Lindsay and I have spent the last four weeks faithfully watching and cheering for our favorites on “Miss America Reality Check,” and our spirits were high for tonight’s event. Yes, we had a set-back in week 3 when Diana, Miss Iowa and former Golden Girl, really dropped the baton (haha punny) on the make-a-fierce-outfit-out-of-a-black-turtleneck-dress contest. Witness below:

But she must have bounced back and really wowed the “real” judges at preliminaries, because tonight we hooted and hollered as she made it into the top 16. We then cringed during the entire swimsuit competition–not because of Diana’s performance (she did perfect) but because TLC chose to show the girls from a lovely looking-up-the-bum angle. awesome. But hooray! Diana made it to the top ten!

And then came evening wear. My favorite event. And it sucked. Girls, seriously? You are competing for Miss America and these are the dresses you chose? Did you learn nothing from Stacy and Clinton or the Miss America Reality Check Judges??!!! I only liked two dresses: Miss Wisconsin’s and Miss Iowa’s–so phew, Miss Iowa is safe.

Or not!!! what an outrage! How oh how could they dismiss Diana before the talent competition!!! Did they not even care about the poor TV audience that, since now devoid of a, in Clinton’s own words, “bringing down the house” baton performance, had to put up with the most sub-par singing and dancing I have ever witnessed in a televised pageant? If any of these contestants had gotten served–they would have DIED. That is, except for Miss Wisconsin who played a beautiful violin solo.

So easy question–who should have won Miss America? Miss Iowa. but really–who should have won Miss America? MISS WISCONSIN!

but NOOOOOOOO–she didn’t even make runner-up. Miss Michigan won. I think. whatever. Miss Iowa was robbed, Miss Wisconsin was robbed, and AMERICA was robbed.

TLC said they were going to make Miss America more modern and more relate-able to America’s disillusioned public. Well guess what? They kinda did the opposite. Bah humbug.

I’ve sunk so low; I think I would have rather watched O-town. Like this video seen here of the band performing badly at the Miss America Pageant 2000:

gosh, that song was creepy.

rowr

amberj.