There is a Reason for My Insanity: I Lived Alone for Six Years

So my lovely friend Jessi posted a link to this article on my facebook page.  It basically talks about all of the creepy things people do when they live by themselves.  I clicked on it thinking that, of course, I wouldn’t do ANY of those things.

After reading it, I realized that well, crap, I do like half of them.

Here are things that I literally do on a regular basis while in my apartment.  (I technically do not live alone anymore, because I have a roommate, but she is only a part-time roommate, so basically I still live alone half the time.)

1.  I do run place while I am watching tv sometimes.  I really don’t see what is so weird about that, but it is in the article so most normal people must find it “insane.”  I don’t have a treadmill, so where else am I going to run in the winter?

2.  I talk to my cats all the time.  I don’t talk to them like they are my little therapists or anything.  I talk to them like they can actually understand me (which might actually be the weirder of the two).  Here are some things I say to my cats on a regular basis:  “Addie stop attacking Penelope, you really need to be nice to her!”  “Stop chewing on that book Pippi!”  “Hermione get off the porch, it is cold out there!”  “It’s time to eat ladies!”  “You all really need to work on keeping the litter inside the box.”  “Pippi stop drooling on my computer!”

3.  I totally leave my bras all over the place when they are drying.  They end up on the backs of chairs in the dining room or living room all the time.

4.  My special “home alone” outfit is my pajamas.  If I am in my apartment, then I am in my pajamas.  Literally.  It doesn’t matter what time it is, I will always be in my pjs.  It is the first thing I do when I walk in the door.  The only exception to this is when I am on my lunch break.  If I put on my pjs then, I would never end up going back to work 🙂

5.  I do eat an abnormal amount of cereal.  I probably eat around 8-9 bowls a week…….and none of them are for breakfast.

6.  I have some real issues with the bathroom door.  I haven’t closed a bathroom door in 6 years.  My cats like to go in there with me (they follow me everywhere) so they are really irritated now that I have started closing the door.  The funny thing is that our bathroom door doesn’t latch very well, so even when I do remember to close it, the cats usually manage to push it open so all of my efforts are pointless.  I don’t have any problems closing the bathroom door in other people’s houses or at work or anything, but when I am in my own place, I have to remind myself every time I go in there.

7.  In the comments of the article some brilliant person mentions putting an “eatin’ sheet” on their bed.  I am pretty sure this is the greatest idea ever.  It is really hilarious because I live in this nice big apartment now, with a real dining room and nice sized living room and I spend 95% of my time in my bedroom.  Now that I have my big girl bed I have my sleeping area and my “everything else” area.  I’ve got my space heater, computer, phone, assortment of DVDs, stack of books, and blankies ready to go.  I read on my bed, watch movies, put together puzzles, and yes, eat almost every meal.  Another funny thing is that most of the time all four cats are in here with me.  I specifically moved into a bigger place so they could have more room, and they spend all their time spread out in my bedroom.  Go figure.

So, maybe I am a little bit crazy from living alone for so long.  But, I LOVE living by myself and still do all of these things (except the bathroom door thing) even though I have a roommate now.  Am I really insane, or do we all do stuff like this and only single people get called out for being crazypants?



6 Responses to “There is a Reason for My Insanity: I Lived Alone for Six Years”

  1. 1 ngtlindsay March 5, 2012 at 11:15 pm

    Umm, ok what?! How is any of that insane?? So 1. I don’t run in place while watching TV, however I do do situps, yoga, and bounce on the bosu ball while watching TV. I would run in place if I didn’t hate running so much.
    2. I don’t have cats, but I do talk to a) myself, b)my teddy bear and stuffed Crookshanks, and c) the baby, when I’m alone. I also talk to the radio and the tv and sometimes my computer.
    3. Who doesn’t leave bras to dry everywhere?! They can’t go in the dryer! They’ll cause a fire!
    4. My special home alone outfit is my underpants. But quite honestly I don’t even have to be home alone. I think everyone remembers that time I took off my pants while watching High School Musical. Wow, that sounds incredibly dirty. But pants are itchy!
    5. I used to eat lots of cereal, but don’t so much now. When I’m alone and hungry I either a) lay on the floor thinking about how hungry I am or b) make myself toast or canned soup. Soup is kind of like my cereal.
    6. Ok, seriously closes the bathroom door when they’re alone? Like seriously. It’s wasted energy.
    7. That person is the smartest person I’ve ever heard of. I probably eat about 75% of my meals in bed. I’d probably eat 100% of my meals in bed if Andrew let me. Heck, after I push this kid out, I’m pretty sure I’m going to eat 100% of my meals in bed for at least 2 months. Unless I get a really comfy rocking chair. Then I could be persuaded to maybe eat in the rocking chair. But seriously, I get home for work, kick my pants off and lay in bed. That is pretty much my routine. Unless I get home before 6:00. In that case, I kick my pants off and lay on the couch and watch Jeopardy.
    And I’m pretty sure that the only people who don’t do these kinds of things either a) are the insane ones or b) have children and so they don’t have time to kick their pants off when they get home. I’ll report back in a few months on this one.

  2. 2 ngtjennifer March 5, 2012 at 11:23 pm

    Yea!!! I am glad to hear this Lindsay! A few months ago I never would have dreamed of eating in bed, but somehow it has turned into my new dining room table. I think it is because I put my space heater on my bed, and I literally have to sit in front of my space heater all the time. I am kind of addicted to it. It will be April and 65 degrees outside, and I will be inside, on my bed, sitting in front of my space heater 🙂

  3. 3 ngtlindsay March 5, 2012 at 11:32 pm

    OMG, you should totally switch apartments with me. My neighbors are true Southerners in that it will be 70 degrees outside and still have the heat on, which means that it all rises and warms up our apartment to 78 degrees. And then we have to run our AC because I can’t sleep if I’m sweating! I actually do not look forward to it getting much warmer here! Right now, it’s been like 30s/40s out and we got down to 69 degrees in our apartment. So comfy!

  4. 4 jobonga March 6, 2012 at 8:51 am

    I still do most of this stuff even though I have a roommate now. Living alone definitely turned me into an extremely efficient cook who caters to no ones tastes but her own. I can cook everything in one pot and then eat it all together in one bowl. Nothing doesn’t taste good with plain yogurt and chili garlic sauce. I’m sure it’s not pretty to watch me eat it either – is there such a thing as table manners when there’s no table?

  5. 5 Amber March 6, 2012 at 9:45 am

    I have always had roommates…and I have always done all of this (except the bathroom door, I usually close the door most of the way. But then Lester usually pushes his way in so then the door is wide open. I have to be careful in the upstairs bathroom tho, because then I am pretty visible to the neighbors if the dining room window is open…)

    I can definitely say the eatin’ sheet would be great, but sounds like too much work. I’d rather just sleep in oreo crumbs. Luckily, with Mr. Lester dog, our bed has very few food niblets hiding in it.

    And can I just say, if someone didn’t talk to their cats or dogs or plants and were just silent the whole time….that would kinda freak me out.

    oh yeah, Lester Dog says “hi everyone!”

  6. 6 ngtjennifer March 6, 2012 at 10:33 pm

    I am so happy that all of you are just as crazy as I am 🙂

    And hello Lester Dog!! My kitties say hello too.

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