I spent a lot of today thinking about fun things to blog about today guys. Lucky for you, I just paid $15 for inspiration. Unlucky for me, that $15 was for getting my bangs trimmed.
Yeah. You read that correctly. $15 for getting my bangs trimmed. I could have gotten an eyebrow wax for cheaper. That eyebrow wax would have required more time and actual products. What did this trimming of bangs entail? No product, 1 minute of time, and a boot out the door. What the fuck? Excuse my language, but I am super pissed right now and am going to use the f word probably some more before I am done here. Turn away now if you must.
The only reason I went to the place I did was because the last time I got my hair cut there, the hairdresser told me that they trimmed bangs for free all the time. What a sweet deal I thought. I was going to tip like $5 to the hairdresser too, so it’s not like I crashed my car into their front window, got out and drunkenly demanded a free haircut.
[*Aside* Now I am even more pissed off because a family decided to sit down behind me and they can totally see my laptop and now I can’t type FUCK really big like I wanted to. I am somewhat family friendly. I feel like I am ready to lash out at small children right now, so I hope they don’t need anything off my table. I don’t want Fido to ban me just before I move two blocks down the road from them. That would be awkward for me to have to walk past here every day after that. I’d try to come in and get coffee, they’d have to throw me out. I’d come back in a disguise. They’d see through it and throw me out again. Nobody wins in that scenario. **A Fido employee just walked by my table and I looked up at him and gave him a look that clearly said, There is no way in hell that you could get me to budge from this table. I dare you to mess with me. Go on. I triple dog dare you. But he just walked off, so obviously he is a coward and full of shame, because you don’t say no to a triple dog dare.]
Here is how my trip to the hairdresser went.
Lindsay walks into hairdresser’s.
Lindsay: Hi, is it possible for me to get my bangs trimmed real quick?
Hairdresser: Let me see. *Disappears for about 5 minutes in the back*
Hairdresser: Sure, I can take you now.
Lindsay: Oh thank you so much, I really appreciate it.
Hairdresser: Let me just go wash my hands. Have a seat.
Lindsay: *Sits down in seat*
Hairdresser: *disappears for another 5 minutes in the back*
Hairdresser: Ok now. *cut cut cut for about 45 seconds*
Lindsay: *stares at self in a bit of horror, but is calm because she knows that hair grows* I can see now! Thanks!
Hairdresser: “Robert” will check you out. *walks back to the back*
“Robert”: Ok now, that’ll be fifteen dollars today.
Lindsay: *tries not to scream WHAT THE FUCK and keep her cool. Hands over debit card somewhat reluctantly, but really just wants to sprint out the door*
“Robert”: *Returns card, probably is smugly thinking what a sucker this one is* Here you go. Enjoy the weather.
Lindsay: *walks stiffly out the door*
Guys, they have a sign that has all their prices and shit on it, and nowhere do they mention a bang trim. I guess in retrospect I could have just asked and then said no thank you. But I trusted in that one hairdresser who cut my hair there. And they burned me so fucking bad.
Needless to say, I didn’t tip. I might have, had the girl not disappeared for about 10 minutes before she cut my bangs. But that was just like pouring salt in the wound.
P.S. I’m not lying about the truck. I really do want one. I’m gonna jack it up like a monster truck and stuff. Ok, that was a lie. It’ll just be a regular pick up truck with dragons on the sides.